I come from an abnormally large family that I am actually ridiculously close with. My mom’s side of the family numbers around 35 folks between first and second cousins and children of my cousins that are more like my siblings and nieces and nephews. My dad had 8 brothers and sisters, and although the 30 members of that family aren’t as close as my mom’s side, Facebook and social media have brought us closer together – even though some live as far away as Alaska. So total, outside of my mom, dad, bro, soon-to-be-sis-in-law, and me, I’m looking at 65 family members.

Besides blood relatives, I have this entire other family that I grew up with (happens to include my bestie) where her mom is like my second mom and her dad is like my second dad and her brother is like my second brother and she and her sister are like the sisters I never had (It’s so bad that I actually kind of feel a bit like her in-laws are my in-laws sometimes). There’s a bunch of other families that I grew up with that still live in my teeny-tiny town. The kind of place when you go out to dinner, you always see someone you know. That plus a beach…it’s paradise.

So basically, Pensacola is one big ol’ homecoming party for me every time I step off the plane. They sit around a table and tell me how pretty I am and love on my hair (which looks AMAZING in the Florida humidity and soft water) and feed me food and it’s just fantastic. Coming from DC, where it’s every man for himself, it’s nice to step into such a warm happy place where people actually give a crap about whether you succeed or fail. It’s nice to have a huge group of people who I know I can count on to be there for me – which is part of the reason why I’m so eager to move back home. I feel like an island here in DC, and it’s so much more striking when I go home how very alone I am up here. (100% by my own doing, I will freely admit).

Obviously, I was/am home this weekend, and I found myself surrounded by this warm glow of love and support from my friends and family. I brought 13 copies of the book with me to sell and…I’ve sold 8 so far I sold them all to my friends and family. Like, we’ve exchanged cash-for-book.

Or, in Cathi’s case, quarters-for-books. <333

My big ol’ southern family (and my northern family too) have been so super excited about the book and it blows my mind how supportive they are. Even the pseudo in-laws are just so…amazingly involved and proud of me. It warms my heart and makes me feel like…I don’t know. There’s good karma coming my way. I’ve put so much out into the universe, I feel like maybe it’s finally boomeranging back to me. (Though even saying that feels disingenuous, like acknowledging the volunteering and the time spent mentoring and helping others invalidates the work done. But I digress.)

I think that’s why I feel so weird asking these beautifully supportive people for money – well, okay, Suni feels weird asking them for money. Whit’s like, “hand that shit over, we got a business to run.” And thank God for Whit, or else we’d have 1,000 books in our living room right now and would give them all away for free, leaving us with $3k in debt.

Again, I digress.

I’m sitting here, looking at the amount of money I’ve gotten for these books and I’m just blown away.

Okay, it’s like $130.

Still, I’m making money doing something I love. I’m making money for my words on a paper!And now the terrifying part begins – they’ve all begun to read it. My ickle baby cousin – the same one in the aforementioned post about discovering a new series – has been obsessively following my blog (her words not mine – Hi Alex!) and she’s apparently gone through a huge part of it. She says she can’t put it down… so that’s hopeful at least?

I think I’m most nervous about people buying this book and absolutely hating it. Hating the concept, hating the voice, hating the topic. Because I’ve read some books recently that I was not a fan of – some which I couldn’t get past the first page. I hate – HATE – when I come across those books, because I know the author worked hard on it, and I don’t want to pooh pooh someone else’s work. But I also believe strongly in honesty and looking at items impartially. I state any hang-ups I have up front, so people can decide whether my review will be helpful to them or not.

I’m terrified that’s why all of those reviewers that I sent the book to haven’t posted their reviews yet – they think it’s terrible and aren’t sure how to tell me. Intellectually, I recognize that not everyone can finish a book in 6 hours like I seem to be able to do. I recognize that people have lives and busy schedules and all that. They just haven’t gotten around to reading my book because they’re busy, and not because they got two pages in and decided it was horrible garbage and they regretted telling me they’d review it.

Right?

On a related note…10 days 😀